Raising Children GOD'S WAY!

Biblical Parenting

One day not so terribly long ago you visited a doctor, clinic or medical facility of one sort or another and they proudly told you "Your going to have a Baby." And all at once you were excited, shocked maybe a little and worried. You didn't know that those emotions would become the normal for you from that moment on. Being a parent is a ROUGH job. I suggest to you that this job is so essential to any nation that there is not even a way for them to properly give the woman who does this job a tenth of the credit she deserves when she has faithfully done her duties as mother well. However in our society there is a sad stain upon our nation. Somehow we have lost women who truly know what it means to be a mother. They now think they can "HAVE IT ALL" that they might somehow be this super woman who can be everywhere and everything to every person in several different places at once. I am here now to tell you that there is no chance of any one woman fulfilling all the roles, which the world and our society in general have handed to the woman. Many people expect this woman to hold down a full time job, run a house like June Cleaver, and still teach her children not only manners and important family traditions but most importantly have a child where she knows what they are doing and with whom they are "hanging out." Frankly that would mean that she has to spend 8 hours of her day away from her children at work and instantly she will not know what they are doing for 1/4 the time of any given day. Instantly she is thrust into a mode of hurry up and tries to shove all the other important things into the remaining time and try to still do a quality job. The problem with this is as we all already know no one can be all things to all people at all times. Sadly many women feel like failures as they know in their hearts that many things they want to do, teach and experience with their children get pushed aside because there is just not enough time for them. I want to suggest to you that there is a way to do things differently. I want to suggest that women were never intended to do all the things they are expected to do in this day and age. And I will show you from this point on what women WERE intended to do. How they were intended to do it. And what format they were intended to use. I hope you find that this is an interesting and enriching lesson.

I would like to start here and suggest to you that Parenting DOES NOT COME NATURAL. There is nothing in the world, which prepares you for having that precious little child in your hands. That child literally the moment you hold them in your hands makes you so sure of your inadequacies that you now realize you have an awesome task ahead and you feel totally inadequate to perform these duties. You may have read all the parenting books in the world when you were expecting. But the moment you hold that child you want to do MORE. You need to learn how to be all that child needs and not lose the person you are on the inside in the process (hey there are days children can drive you literally to the brink of madness.) I hope to show you another option. We have all been in stores all across the country where we see mothers struggling with their offspring and you can literally see the power struggles. This power struggle is echoed through out her home daily. The child, which fills her heart with such joy at one moment, can fill her mind, and body with such frustration and sadness at another. I suggest to you in no uncertain terms that this woman never wanted to be the object of our scorn. She has done the best job she knew how to do in the situations of life that were afforded her. But there is still a huge problem. Her offspring are not obeying her. Her child needs to know what it is they are expected to do, how they are expected to behave, and that Mommy won't tolerate such outbursts. I don't suggest abusing your children and leaving them in fear of you and your molten rages. I know we all have been there where we are so angry we choose not to do anything rather than the wrong thing. I am here attempting to show you that it doesn't have to get that far. I suggest we can have children who are obedient, respectful and honest. I suggest that this is not some kind of dream and it is attainable. I also suggest you will have to work hard to achieve it and I suggest you will want to give up before the end. However if you want the child you always dreamed of when you were told you would have a sweet little baby. I suggest you listen up and buckle your seat belts. It will be a bumpy ride, BUT WORTH EVERY BUMP ALONG THE WAY.
What will make you feel successful as a parent? And how do you intend to reach your goals? If your children get good jobs or even become wealthy, would you be satisfied? If they are popular and have many friends, would you be satisfied? Would it please you if they become influential civic leaders or politicians, would you be satisfied? Or would you be happy if they just grow up to be good citizens, have good health, good families, and live like most middle-class Americans, Would you be satisfied? What do you really want for your children? Have you ever set down and made a goal? Without a goal you are headed into No Man's land and headed there fast.
Suppose they achieve all these things. Matthew 16:26says: "For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? " If your children do not learn to serve God so they die unprepared to face eternity, would you really be successful as a parent?
In Genesis 18:19 God said that He would bless Abraham, because He knew Abraham would "command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice..." Abraham trained up his children to seek God and to make him and his will their priority. Would God say this about the way you train your children? How about your life is this the goal and aim of your life? You see if your child knows you’re not interested in this then he won't be either. If just one of your children were to face eternal condemnation because you neglected to teach them about God's will, COULD YOU REALLY CONSIDER YOURSELF A SUCCESSFUL PARENT?
Now I am assuming like myself you admit to having not been that kind of parent. I understand that, No one is perfect save the lord himself. I suggest then that this is where we should begin with learning what parenting is....
What should you do to prepare your children, not just for this life, but also for eternity? Proverbs 22:6 says: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Many attempts have been made to share what a parent is supposed to be. I would like to share what a parent is NOT. Parents are not the child's friends. Parents are not merely providers of food and shelter and entertainment to the child. Parents are not piggy banks to afford all the child's earthly desires.

Parents ARE guardian's. We are entrusted with a set job to do. These children are not our own. They come from our flesh but the spirits within them are from God. My son is not mine to do with what I wish I will stand accountable for how I trained this child to do GOD'S will. Train our children in the fear and admonition of the lord.

Help them obtain all the following spiritual fruits within their lives.

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience/Longsuffering

Gentleness

Goodness

Faith

Meekness

Temperance)

Galatians 5:22-23

And

Responsible

Obedient

Reverent

Grateful

Attentive

Forgiving

Truthful

Honorable

With Integrity

Hating Evil

Hard Working

Ephesians 5:9

These following things are the things we must teach them to avoid learning

Evil thoughts,

Adulteries,

Fornications,

Murders,

Thefts,

Covetousness,

Lasciviousness,

An evil eye,

Blasphemy,

Pride,

Foolishness,

Vile affections,

Unrighteousness,

Wickedness,

Maliciousness,

Full of envy,

Debate,

Deceitful,

Malignity,

Whisperers,

Backbiters,

Haters of God,

Despiteful,

Proud,

Boasters,

Inventors of evil things,

Disobedient to parents,

Liars,

Without understanding,

Covenant breakers,

Without natural affection,

Implacable,

Unmerciful,

Mark 7:20-23; Romans 1:26-32; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Gal. 5:19-21; Eph. 4:17-5:21; Col. 3:5-11; 2 Timothy 3:1-7; Titus 3:3; James 3:13-4:10; 1 Peter 4:1-4; Revelation 21:8; 22:15

We as parents need to remember we are not raising children we are training the next generation. When we are no longer able to lift the weight of this world. When we are not able to fight the good fight any longer then there must be someone to stand in the gap. WHO WILL IT BE IF NOT OUR CHILDREN? We must not fail. If we as a country fail as we have in the past few generations then our faith, our hope and our nation will pay a mighty price. God forbid that we may fail. I pray we can even now stop this slide into the recesses of Satan’s hot kingdom.

How will we teach our children these above spiritual fruits and character traits? We must first make it our goal to obtain them ourselves. We cannot teach something which we do not possess. I suggest to you that there is allot of work ahead. I told you from the start we were on a bumpy road. I was not kidding first you must acquire that which you lack. Not an easy job by any means. I suggest you start by obtaining not only salvation if you are lacking that but also a good godly bible believing and preaching church and start attending it every time the doors are open. Take your children too. They will learn much just from attending. I also suggest you make the above-mentioned goals for your family and another for your children. Once that is done you have now gotten abase from which to work. I suggest you then start to live a consistent life of training your children in a biblical way. Starting with rules you have decided are important in your home (Consider 5 or less major rules appropriate for young children.) Make sure all parent's are on the same page and then bring the children together and tell them there is new changes in your home. I do not mean ask them for their permission. I do not mean give them a few days, weeks etc to marinate in the decision. I mean tell them in your own words... There is a new set of rules going to be followed and I expect this, and this. Now I understand many of us have tried many forms of discipline however there is only one method acceptable by the standards of the bible. If you plan to be biblical in all you say and do in your home, And plan to teach your children something which they might pass on to their own children in the foreseeable future. Then we need to discuss what the bible says about discipline.
In the bible the only way a child might prosper was if he (she) was obedient and reverent to their parents. Ex 20:12, Leviticus 19:3, Deut. 5:16 Anything else was not acceptable. As a matter of a fact did you know that if a child cursed his parents that he was to be stoned to death in the Old Testament times? Exodus 21:17. Also if a child is stubborn and rebellious and refuses to obey the voice of his mother and father he is to be stoned to death also. Deut. 21:18-21 These are not how I am suggesting you discipline your child. I am however saying that the Lord our god does not take children disobeying in the same light manner, which we see America today taking disobedient children. I want to stress the importance of being a parent who instructs your child in the ways of God. This is your primary duty. You do have authority from God to do disciplining of your child. Now let me also caution you to not abuse your power and being an abusive parent either. Neither being too permissive nor being too harsh is a good recipe for raising a child to love you but also to love the Lord.

For our purposes the manner that we shall be asking you to implement is the rod of correction. Also known as discipline. I want you to fully listen and think about this prospect. I suggest that instead of letting things in your home get to some catastrophic level where yelling and tempers are required to convey our points, that we say what we mean and mean what we say. Are you confused? Well here is the crux of the matter. When you tell your child "Pick up your toys little Janet" mean it. Don't come back 8 more times and say Janet didn't I say start picking up your toys? No Janet I mean now. Go right now and pick them up.... I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN JANET. And then proceed to carry on telling her to pick up her toys or worse yet go admit to your child that she has defeated you and pick them up for her. I want you to tell her once and only once pick up your toys. Then leave the room. Come back in about 5 or so minuets and check on her. If Janet has not started picking up the toys then you Walk over to her get her undivided attention and say "I told you to pick up the toys now you disobeyed me." End of conversation. Give her one-two swats on the fanny and say now pick up your toys. And stand there till she obeys. If she still does not add yet another swat to her fanny and say I mean now. Very quickly Janet will realize Mommy is not going to change her mind this time. I had better do as I am told. Now if you spend 2-3 days focused on your child and Making them do exactly as you tell them, and or want them to do then after that 2nd or 3rd day Both you and your child will be much happier. You won't have to yell, your child won't feel your anger and frustration and you and she (he) will find that you want to spend time together again. It won't be a painful experience. And once your child knows the consequences and that you will carry them out. They will feel secure, and will understand all the rules and expectations of your home. Making things run smoother and all people less tense and much more Happy and Joyful. And that is what our homes are to be. Happy, Joyful and LOVING environments where we all may grow share and know and be known for who we are. However it must always be done in an environment of trust, respect and knowing what is expected of us. How can anyone relax and feel cherished and loved if they are yelled at all the time when they are never sure what they did wrong or if what they are doing is wrong still today as it was a few days before. Inconsistency and yelling and frustrations are nothing but painful and breeds estrangement from loved ones. The spankings which so many argue and worry about do not breed the haltered and contempt. The uncertainty and confusion does. The confusion and uncertainty makes us feel on edge, and that leads to frustrations, unmet expectations and regrets. I submit to you that doing things like GOD himself commands us in using the rod of reproof (Aka spankings for discipline) Improve and help us to deal with unwanted and unacceptable behaviors without making everyone in the family feel anxious and angry. But it must be done in response to the child having done that which they KNEW was wrong. If you the parent say to do anything that child needs to do it. And when they don't they need to have an immediate consequence. That they can count on and that will happen each and every time. Consistency and follow through for all the rules is the KEY to doing and achieving all our desires. It is the same in the real world. If a police officer pulls you over for speeding don't they have a predictable thing they do? They take your license and registration check to make sure you are lawfully able to operate the vehicle and then if you are fully legal to run it they will give you a ticket. You are now required to pay for your offense against the laws of the land. And every offense of any law works like that. Well why is it we don't think our children should be trained to respect our laws, our homes and us? Do we expect that they will ever grow into people who respect laws of any kind if we cannot tame the two year old or three-year-old temper? If you cannot tame the 3 year old what chance do you have of reigning in the 13 year old who wants to prove their ability's to be "independent and self sufficient?" Or are you trying to have them living in your basement till they are 90? I don't think that is what you really want. We all know that there are laws in life and we must follow them. Teach your child this early and they will obey you, obey God and obey the laws of the land. And do it in a much more loving, joyful and happy fashion then if they have to learn that someone has authority over them at 21 when no one has ever brought them to the point of subjecting their little desires in any form ever anywhere for any purpose before. Good luck to you at 21 as they won't be any easier, in truth much more difficult and sadly much more upset with a stint in jail than with a tiny swat on the fanny at 2 or 3. YOUR CHOICE MOM AND DAD.... NOW OR LATER THEY WILL HAVE TO FOLLOW LAWS, RULES AND ORDINANCES. IN YOUR HOME OR IN THE REAL WORLD. WHY NOT BOTH? And why not start now? Colossians 3:20-21,Ephesians 6:1-3,Proverbs 29:15,Proverbs 22:15,Proverbs 20:11,Psalms 103:17-18,Psalms 37:25-33